What I'm up to.

Hello everyone! It has been a while since I updated you all on what I am up to. Recently I had a very wonderful trip home, although it was short. Most of you know that I was applying to a ywam school in Australia for the fall, but I feel that’s not where I am supposed to go. As you can see, plans have once again changed! I am thinking this will be the last. I have decided that Germany would be the best fit for me, because they have a music program, I’ve always wanted to learn German,and they are a bilingual school. The program would also be only the duration of about 6 months. I have yet to find out specific details since I had just recently made up my mind about this.. But I do know that their secondary schools run in the spring and summer. In turn, I will be sticking around a little bit longer here in Ontario. Hopefully I’ll get in a couple more visits back to new Brunswick! Anyhow, I am off to do some things around the farm (lucky me! Haha), so I must be off. Blessings to you all and thank you for reading my blog. P.s. (letter to the family), thank you for your support while I was and am away. It was so encouraging to know that you are eager to listen and follow what I am doing! Specail shout out to jennifer and cheryl! Thank you for following and paying for me. Love you all. - jessie

i thought that i would never see those two people again that i saw (if you don’t know who they are, read my last post). thankfully i didn’t have to take their order nor serve them. i would have served the poor woman, but not the man. he gives me the creeps. everything that i saw and heard solidified my suspicions, once again. 

the woman was all over the man, calling him baby and she had her hand in his right back pocket of his jeans. her body language was very dependent, while his was superior and powerful. when he went to sit down at the table, she shifted herself towards him, entangling her feet in the leg of his chair; touching his feet. while her hands were extended from her coffee cup out to him. 

i was washing the windows at the front of the store at this time. so i was able to get a real good look at them, also listen a bit too. they were talking about small towns and such, so i got the vibe that they were new to town. i have been living here for over a month, and have been working at tim hortons for that duration as well. i recognize the faces that i see every day; not these two. while i was spraying the cleaner on the encasement of the front entrance, i looked at them for any more signs. i wanted to retain any information that i could because i cant do nothing about this. unfortunately i did get caught looking at them, i think mostly because the guy (who is a pimp) was very conscious about his surroundings. of course! pimps have to be like that, because they might get caught for what they are doing. and he could be looking for his next victim to make money off of. 

isaac asked me if i said or did anything, and i did want to. so after they left, i explained to one of my co-workers what i did these past 5 months. then i went to tell her what i saw and she still didn’t understand.

out of all the training that i have received and information that i have gotten about  sex-trafficking, i still didn’t know what to do! exasperated (in the middle of writing this actually), i asked natalie what i should do. because i thought there was nothing i could possibly do. she said that if i got to talk to the woman, that would be good, but that man is always with her. she said that i should acknowledge her and say, “how are you doing miss?” or something like that. letting her know that at least someone cares how she was doing could show her a different kind of love. i really do hope so! she also said that i could contact this lady who is a canadian mounty, that helps with this sort of thing. so i am going to call her when i get her information. 

that is all for now, i will keep updating as events occur!

i always seem to be surprised at the way other people see the world - or the lack of seeing it for the way it is.. tonight i was at work in tim hortons and i saw something that everyone else around me didn’t see. no one took a second look. the two people across the counter were just two more people to serve. unlike my fellow workers, i saw who they were.

the man was clean shaven, attractive, and somewhat well dressed. there was a woman that was with him (i assumed she was not with him at the start). but when they came over to the counter, she was hanging off of him and calling him baby. this happening seemed strange to me, since the woman looked like she was cracked out and old. although her hair was done and her nails were manicured. then it hit me. this woman was not dating this attractive man.. she was that man’s hoe. all of a sudden that man was not so good looking anymore; he was a monster in my eyes. no one else gave it a question, or gave a weird look. i just stood there in terror. 

seeing just this made me furious! i don’t understand how these things can go on in this world. i don’t understand how this man can casually come into tim hortons with this poor woman he is oppressing,  manipulating, and forcing to have sexual relations with random men for money. 

why is this happening?! 

Take off Your Rose Coloured Glasses.

well, my journey with ywam is over, but yet starting new! i am currently at a charity house called the greenhaven farm. what they do here, is taking in people off the streets; young or old. their goal is showing the love of God to these people and directing them to a better way of life! also, the woman and her husband that own the farm here are taking over the ywam/i.net base. so they will be the ones who organize and host the next dts. 

with all this said, i am here to help them with their vision with helping out the youth, mainly. and possibly to staff the next dts that they might have in the fall. this is exciting!!! so i’ll be living here for the rest of this year, and into the next. i dont know where i am going to be after that, but thats okay!! 

so i will be getting a job here and getting involved with the churches, as well as helping out at the farm with every day life - and the things that we are going to get started, such as: a drop in center for youth, a youth group where kids can actually be real and get to know God, a supportive community of believers, and hopefully a summer camp!! and doing lots of fundraisers as well. 

yeah, that is what i am up to as of now. all of this is in the beginning stages, so i ask for you to pray for me as well as the greenhaven farm, and the upcoming dts!!! thank you all for the prayers and support going to this dts, and through it! i really appreciate everyone’s efforts towards what i really feel like my meaning in life is. you have all been so good to me!

-love,

jessica leigh gilliard ♥

to tell you the truth, i’ve been dreading writing this blog for a few days now.. since then i have to admit that dts is over. i dont want it to be over!!! i guess we are all moving onto greater things! well.. i dont know what could be better than hanging out with me everyday!! haha, im just kidding :-)

putting this whole experience in a nut shell just wouldn’t work for me.. so this is going to be pretty hard! i can say that it has been the best thing that has happened to me in my short 19 years of breathing oxygen. coming to do this DTS (discipleship training school), i never could have known what would hit me. the thing that i was searching so hard for hit me in between the eyes.. love. and its not the kind of love that you think of, especially with this past valentines day. all that mushy stuff! hahaha. really now.. i have learned how to love myself most of all and then love others as well, and all the hurting people i see.

love isnt what everyone views it as. love is hurting when someone else hurts, crying with those who cry, feeling with those who feel, laughing along with friends (as well as strangers), giving that smile away that you are hiding underneath. its the you that no one sees. the part that feels so deeply, but you are too afraid to be vulnerable enough. 

honestly i now know what love is.

so if you are plagued with they undying mysteries of love, i would suggest you do a dts like i did. now im not saying that you will unfold ALL of your questions; that is a life long journey.. 

alright, i guess its time you are bored with reading this heart-felt post! hehe, it is from deep down in my heart ♥

I LOVE ALL MY DTS’ERS!

steveee! marvin! olive! kyungmi! mat! tabs! wouter! anna chika! nat! jessie b! keviiiinn! max! cat! hayden! harcourt! isaac!

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p.s… i love you ;-) hehe!